‘Marriage Preparation’ can have somewhat of a stigma attached to it. For some, the name perhaps conjures up images of advice on ‘the finer points of pastry making’ or ‘the merits of cleaning the car on a Saturday afternoon’. At the other end of the spectrum, one friend experienced a Marriage Preparation Course which consisted entirely of discussions on wedding flowers, wedding outfits, wedding receptions… without progressing to the ‘M’ word.
But how do you best prepare for such a life-changing experience? Happily many of our churches run fantastic courses and I and many others have benefited enormously from meeting with those who have been ‘in the game’ for longer. Many such courses base discussions on marriage preparation or ‘marriage exploration’ books.
Andrew Body’s new book ‘Growing Together’ is the perfect tool to get you thinking, whether in a group or as a couple. He has produced a practical guide to promote discussion on key life issues: children, commitment, communication, faith, money, roles, expectations…etc.
Using a simple model throughout: ‘where are you coming from?’ (what attitudes/ prejudices we may have inherited from our past), ‘where are you now?’ (what our present experience has to tell us) and ‘where are you going to?’ (what hopes and fears we have as we look to the future), he helps to develop a shared understanding of expectations.
Within each section he provides more specific questions to consider ranging from ‘How do you define a domestic chore?’ to ‘If Great Aunt Jemima left you £500,000, what would you do?’
The book is billed as ‘A Guide for Couples Getting Married’, but it is thought provoking no matter how long you’ve been married. I was particularly struck by the illustration on the cover; it reminded me that after 4 years of marriage I still can’t share my toothbrush!
Growing Together by Andrew Body is published by Church House Publishing, £6.99.
The Door has 5 copies of Growing Together by Andrew Body to be won. Send your name and address to Growing Together competition, The Door, Church House, North Hinksey Lane, Oxford, OX2 0NB by 15 March. The first five names out of the hat will win.
