Finding certainty in an age of impermanence

So they did it. Said the vows and tied the knot. Camilla and Charles, Charles and Camilla – an ‘official’ couple. The Oxford Mail managed to unearth another couple doing the same, in the same location. He popped the question on one knee in the kitchen, she accepted and the deal was done. I wish both unions the very best, may they be fruitful and long lasting for all involved. How we long for certainty in this age of impermanence. But all too often our relationships, our jobs and our lives throw up curve balls which leave us floundering and anxious.

The Christian Faith is full of promises of God’s unwavering love. How hard it is to hang onto to those pledges when relationships break down, jobs disappear and health dwindles. Do bad things happen because we haven't been ‘good enough’? Are we being paid back for our selfishness and greed? I choose not to believe in that kind of punitive God. God's love is there, come what may. Former priest, turned family therapist, Jeremy Young, in his thoughtful and controversial book ‘The Cost of Certainty’, puts it this way. ‘Only if God's love, forgiveness and acceptance are regarded as the foundation and pre-condition of our ability to repent and change, rather than as the consequence of our repentance, will the Christian religion be able to function as a truly liberating and transformative system of belief. If not, it will inevitably create restrictive forms of religious practice and bind believers in the chains of anxiety and fear.’

In the run up to the general election, it seems that many politicians play on our deep seated fears and worries. They promise certainty, when we all know that such rhetoric is often hollow and meaningless. The Reading Chronicle is planning a question and answer session between its readers and Reading's would be MP's; ‘the chance to find out what the would-be Members of Parliament really think about the local issues that matter to you’. How many candidates will be courageous enough to admit that they ‘don't know’ how to curb crime and stop escalating rates of teenage pregnancy. How many will pretend that a quick party political fix will solve all ills; ‘vote for us, and we'll give you the security you crave’.

Having just had the rather insecure experience of travelling on a diving trip alone in Egypt, for the first time in a number of years, I was heartened to read the Bucks Free Press's feature on a new company formed for women in the same position. Called ‘the Independent Traveller’ it acknowledges the growing number of lone female travellers and tries to meet their needs accordingly. Faced with myself in my hotel bedroom, I hung onto the knowledge that God accepts us unconditionally as we are, and also invites us  to change because of our relationship with him. It wasn’t an easy time, but my fear of being alone diminished; I met others in the same boat (literally), and managed to scuba dive without drowning. Like my faith journey, the holiday threw up big challenges, but I only had to take small steps to find a little serenity.

Clare Catford presents BBC Radio Berkshire’s Sunday programme