Calling time on lighting up

IT’S been five weeks and one day, since I lit up, took a deep drag and then lit up again.

The first week, was amazing. I was euphoric about how apparently easy it was to stop smoking.  The second week, I got depressed. The third, things just got back to being normal and the fourth? Life became so tediously ordinary that I just wanted to smoke to relieve the boredom.

There are plenty of good things about giving up: the health benefits; the extra cash. But sometimes the change can leave us vaguely dissatisfied. On balance I am glad I have stopped, although it really is a day at a time, but I miss it, sometimes, like you miss a trusted friend.

That's why I was intrigued to read about the big dilemma facing the first non-smoking pub in Reading. According to the Evening Post, managers of the 'Back of Beyond' in Kings road, have applied for a new licence after admitting that since they banned cigarettes, the atmosphere of the pub has changed. The pub, it seems will host live bands and screen films. Its solicitor has reassured clientele that it is; 'not turning into a disco….but this change will mean there will be something to listen to, instead of the clank of knives on plates'. The sound of the soft 'flick' of a lighter as it meets a Marlborough Light is a long gone audio memory both in that establishment, as well as in my own life. But, I wonder how many regulars, deep down have a small hankering for the way things used to be. And what's wrong with scraping your plate eh? At least it shows you're enjoying the food! 

Replacing or getting rid of habits, is in a way, a kind of maturing. I wish sometimes that I could engage with God in the way I used to in my 20s, when I was high on fervour, big on enthusiasm, but low on life experience. Now my life-experience is way up, my fervour has been replaced by a quieter but no less determined meditative state of mind, and my enthusiasm is still there, but has had its fair share of knocks. I am glad the God/Clare relationship is changing, although, like the smoking, I occasionally have a wistful longing for what once was.

I am not the only one unable to light up, although my reasons are very different from those in Buckinghamshire facing a similar problem.  The Bucks Free Press reports that half of the county's 29, 500 street lights could go out if light bulbs are removed to keep council tax rises down. A council tax rise, of course, is no laughing matter, but here's a rather trite solution. Why not harness the energy of all those ex-smokers, who are trying to sit out the cravings? Encourage them to take a brisk walk up their street, holding a much loved and tested lighter above their heads. Great for a quick and easy workout, and great as an alternative light source when our backs are against the wall. Will it catch on? Not in my street. If I can't light up inside, and there's no illumination outside, I'll be in front of the telly, scraping my plate loudly as a final act of defiance! 

Clare Catford presents BBC Radio Berkshire’s Sunday morning programme