Sex, drink and self-respect

In this issue of The DOOR we look at drinking (page 3) and under-age sex (page 8): never let it be said diocesan newspapers are afraid to tackle serious issues! The Government, pushing its new round the clock drinking laws, isn’t keen to link the two, but the candid teenagers in the TV Series No Sex Please We’re Teenagers (reviewed by our diocesan youth adviser) have no such compunctions. All aged between 15 and 17, some have been sexually active since the age of 12 and are frank about their first forays into sex – almost universally, alcohol, ‘got them into bed’.

Almost all seem to regret it and, though they are initially reluctant about the premise behind the TV series (sexual abstinence for five months), they quickly re-evaluate what they want from a relationship. The series producers don’t say whether the group’s alcohol consumption drops with their lack of sexual activity, but I for one would be ready to hazard a guess that it does.

The one time (in the two out of three episodes aired so far) they lose control and the new relationship boundaries are crossed is when alcohol is smuggled in. The message is simple – drink changes the way you behave. Ironically, the drinks industry is quite happy with this message – they plough millions into advertising which reinforces this fact, though this insists that sexual attraction and, failing that, solace, are what drinkers will find at the bottom of their beer or wine glass, not a lack of self-respect.

In a world where self-esteem is linked so strongly to sexual attractiveness, this message is potentially fatal, particularly for youngsters in search of establishing their own identities.

What is so inspiring about this TV series is how quickly the youngsters find their self-esteem built through a shared goal, a group relationship, and some quality time with the two project leaders, both Christian youth workers. For most, this seems more than adequate replacement for uncommitted sexual relationships and drink. Though one of the 12 teenagers has a powerful experience of God while in the States, the series isn’t about conversion, but it is about transformation. And the relationships established by the two Christian leaders are truly transformational. Of course, we don’t know yet if any ‘fall off the wagon’ but the frankness, and the openess to new ideas shown by these youngsters is inspiring.

If only our political leaders could be so honest in their policy making, instead of threatening teenagers with ASBOs and jail terms on the one hand, and pouring
alcohol down their throats with the other.