Snatching some God time

Hearing people's ‘faith stories’ as part of our 'God in the life of' series is a tremendous privilege. And something someone once said to me during the course of an interview has stuck with me ever since. I always ask about times of doubt and in this case, I was asking Anne Kelaart, the high sheriff of Oxfordshire, about her times of struggle. She said the only time she had felt distanced from God was during a period when her three children were young and she was a ‘busy mother’.

New to motherhood myself, I didn't understand this at the time. I was still in awe and thankfulness at the sheer existence of my son. And don't get me wrong, I still am – but I do know what she means now. I struggle, like many parents to find time for ‘myself’ and realise that my relationship with God was founded in this ‘me time’ when I could pause, reflect and pray. Nowadays I seem to live life solidly in the present, with no time for reflection. Church services in particular can be a question of gritting my teeth, diving in, and hoping I can contain the noise with a few well chosen toys. While others pray, I’m juggling tractors (chosen for their lack of noise at home but oh what a difference stone floors make to rubber tyres), juice bottles, books (carefully picked for religious content and therefore won’t meet with too much disapproval when they are thrown around the nave later) and trying to keep my son's cheerful chatter down to a murmur. My prayers are much more snatched and more of the ‘please God help me keep my temper’ variety than anything else. Anne Atkins (see page 5) may be right when, in her new book, she says new parents suddenly show a new interest in church but I know now how hard it is to keep going, week after week.

Most churches do an awful lot to appeal to mothers, with prayer groups, mum and baby groups and play groups mid-week. Of course many of the dozens of families that use these services won't show up in church on Sunday. Does this matter? Well as the church is ‘24/7’, perhaps not. But here, from my very personal experience of several different churches, are a few suggestions. I want to go to church on Sunday as part of my family, so I don't want my son packed off out the building, over the road to the school or wherever. It is hard enough to part with him for work in the week without being shut out from the Sunday service as well. Of course, as children get older, separate space and time for them away from parents to explore their own thoughts may be essential. But for the pre-schoolers, how about half an hour ‘creche’ in back of the church, where the children are encouraged to listen, explore and learn, and the harassed parents can snatch 30 minutes to reflect and to pray, and perhaps, just perhaps, even remember to thank God for their children?