My Christian soldier - a mother's story

Images of war bombard our senses daily on the television and radio news. But even when our own armed forces are deployed, the conflict is usually far removed from our own shores creating, for most of us, a mental as well as a physical distance. But when your own child is going into battle the conflict seems very different. Here, one mother from our diocese, Katrina, speaks frankly of the struggles her entire family faced when her son was sent out to fight in Iraq.

CHRISTMAS time, two years ago, was a bitter-sweet time for my family as we enjoyed the festivities with the threat of a war with Iraq becoming ever more real. You see, my son is a soldier, so it was with dreadful anticipation that we saw in the New Year.

As deliberations between the UN, the weapons inspectors and the USA stretched out he confided in us a great unease at what might lie ahead and his struggle to reconcile his role as a soldier with his long-held Christian beliefs. And, for perhaps the first time I asked myself, ‘can a Christian be a soldier?’

My son joined the British Army to learn a trade, travel the world, maintain fitness and establish lasting comradeship. I believe after many years of peace in our country that most young people join the military for similar reasons. I seriously doubt that many really think they will ever see hostile action. Even in basic training, where suitability to perform under fire was assessed, few probably believed that they would find themselves really taking human life.
With the Iraqi conflict now looming however, we all knew that the ‘fire’ my son was likely to come under soon would be, after all, for real. At the very least he would have to defend himself. 

As a soldier it was his duty to obey orders even if that meant wounding or killing. As a Christian this appalled him. At some point it was very likely he would have to compromise either his religion or his job and he was tormented that hesitation between his faith and his duty could cost the lives of his comrades, or himself.

As a mother I wanted to scream at him to run away now. As a Christian myself, not bound by military orders, there was no dilemma:  Thou shalt not kill.

I tried to reassure him that as a soldier following orders the burden of guilt was somehow shifted, but he was not convinced.  Swearing an Oath of Allegiance to HM Queen Elizabeth and ‘being duty bound to defend her against all enemies and to observe and obey all orders set over him’ may have been enough reasoning for most soldiers, but not for committed Christians like my son.

In the end we could only sit and pray together.

It was interesting hearing, months later, that although few of my son’s comrades admitted to a faith of any sort, making it difficult for him to discuss his struggles, in the freezing cold of a Kuwaiti desert the night before his Regiment began to advance into Iraq my son was suddenly surrounded by men and women finding faith in prayer.
My son’s part in the war has challenged the faith of all his family, making us examine our own lives. I think we all pick and choose the parts of our religion which suit us best,  latching on to the bits we like and ignoring those which don’t rest easily.

We all compromise our faith throughout our lives. How many of us can honestly say we have never broken one of the ten commandments? Are some commandments, in some situations, more sinful to break than another? Stealing? Blaspheming? Adultery? Taking another life? How far would you go to safeguard your family? Would you lie for your partner or kill for your child?

With our country’s military action restricted to its fighting forces, usually far away, we are lucky that most of us never have to question how we would perform in such an extreme situation as a war but can shift that huge responsibility onto others’ shoulders.

With my son now safely back from Iraq I think he was brave to confront his situation and whatever actions he was called upon to perform I believe his Christian nature helped him in the end, not hindered him.

So yes, I believe a soldier can be a Christian – in fact I think Christianity makes good soldiers if they carry with them humility and respect for fellow men and awareness of suffering.

It is a huge burden for someone to carry their religion into battle. Far easier perhaps not to be weighed down with a conscience. But those who know God’s presence in any walk of life, and perhaps especially on the battlefield, can only fare better than those who don’t and I am glad that my son took God into battle with him.

For myself, the year 2002 was a real test of faith with a son away at war and the death of my sister. But I felt strengthened by my commitment to God and as a result have recently taken the first steps to becoming a Licensed Lay Minister.