Baptising babies and welcoming parents

IN times of high infant mortality, all babies were baptised soon after birth as a ‘safeguard’ intended to ensure they went to heaven. Nowadays, however, baptism or christening has become for many parents just another choice amongst a baffling array of other choices. And sadly, it is one made by an ever decreasing number of couples. National Church of England figures show that the number of baptisms in the UK is in sharp decline. While the figure for the number of baptisms carried out each year – infant, child and adult – is not as low as that of confirmations, the trend is obvious.

In the Oxford diocese only a fifth of new babies are baptised – slightly higher than the national average but lower than other areas of the country like Carlisle, Hereford and Lincoln. In London, fewer than one in ten infants is baptised.

Many parents are now opting for the civil equivalent of a registry office wedding – a naming ceremony. Baby magazines tout this option as a chance for the couple to plan a much more informal service with a ‘party’ feel which centres on their baby. In these magazines, traditional baptism is often portrayed as a stiff, formal service which does little to celebrate the new life of the child and is carried out as part of the traditional Sunday service.

This view ignores what is really going on in our churches up and down the country. Many churches are offering tailor made services for baptisms, often on Sunday afternoons, for those who don’t attend church every Sunday (see Anne Kiggell’s piece below). And for those who opt for the baptism as part of the morning service, it becomes the central focus of the entire service. For baptism, after all, is about welcoming the child into the Church and affirming that God loves the child. Parents and godparents make promises on behalf of the baby that they hope he or she will one day make for himself or herself.

But for those not comfortable with making promises on behalf of the baby, the Church also offers an alternative in the shape of the new thanksgiving service for the gift of a child. This service is for parents who want a ceremony that allows them to give thanks to God for the gift of the child,. but defers full baptism. One new mother, Joanna, has chosen this route for her baby daughter. Only an occasional churchgoer, she still wanted a religious ceremony to celebrate the new life of her daughter. Her local vicar has agreed to come to her house to carry out a thanksgiving service in front of family and friends. ‘This is perfect for us. We wanted to thank God for our healthy daughter but didn’t feel comfortable doing it in the normal Sunday service,’ she said.

Where parents want a full baptism, but do not attend church, the priest can offer preparation classes as he or she may do before marriage. This is to help parents understand the vows they are about to take in front of friends, family and God. A priest cannot refuse to carry out a baptism of a child because the parents aren’t married, though there are some who may pass the parents on to another priest or parish.

Revd Richard Thomas, head of communications for the Diocese, said that in all his years of parish ministry, ‘I have never met parents who did not take the vows seriously in one way or another’.

He said the Church should seize all opportunities to build relationships with parents and children.
‘It is up to the Church to follow up those children and to encourage them to fulfil their baptism vows by coming forward for confirmation,’ he said.

Baptising babies and welcoming parents In the first of a two part series looking at baptism and confirmation, we explore the decline in numbers of babies and children coming forward for baptism and ask: are we doing enough to welcome the new generation? Below, Revd Anne Kiggell calls for a more flexible approach to baptism. ‘I have never met parents who did not take the vows seriously in one way or another’