‘Every home should have one’ was my first thought after reading ‘The Complete Book of Funeral Planning Readings & Music’. I came to the book with personal experience of the grief of losing a loved member of my family (my sister) and of helping to arrange what I hope was a fitting and personal funeral service for her.
My review, therefore, draws on my experiences and needs at that difficult time and how well the advice and suggestions offered in the book would have helped me.
What to do in the event of the death of a close relative or friend is not something most people rehearse in their minds 'just in case'. We don't generally have a list ready and waiting of suitable hymns or readings, or ideas we might call on for the service.
Perhaps we should. It would certainly help should the unthinkable happen, because then our energy is used in coping with our own and our family's emotional and practical turmoil. Even if we have once made a mental note of a reading that struck a chord, or a hymn the person had said they liked, we probably won't remember until it was too late.
I remember scouring bookshelves for advice on funeral planning and finding very little of help. My family and I had long discussions about the right things to do. I felt helpless and annoyed that I couldn’t find what I needed.
Showing my family this book as I read through it, we all agreed that it would have made everything so much easier to have it sitting on a shelf to refer to.
The chapters give you clear, practical information about what happens when a death occurs, registering the death, arranging the funeral, planning the service, choosing a memorial stone and even funeral etiquette. All so helpful when your mind is numb and it's not something you previously knew about.
I particularly liked the selection of readings, some unknown to me and some familiar, that I just couldn't bring to mind when I needed them most.
There is advice on sorting out financial matters and the authors also touch on how to deal with unusual requests by the deceased, and on practical necessities as well as emotional support relating to the heartbreaking death of a child.
The style is easily digestible, simple and sensitive and for me would have acted as a knowledgeable and sympathetic shoulder to lean on and refer to in a time of great confusion and need.
My family and I agreed that it would not be morbid to suggest every family 'needs' this book before they actually need it. It would be commonsense and something they would definitely be glad to have on hand one day.
Barbara Bolder works in the Front Office at Diocesan Church House The Complete Book of Funeral Planning, Readings and Music
Rachel Johnstone-Burt, Alison Gibbs, Revd John Wynburne
Foulsham
£9.99
