Every New Year I buy a diary and enjoy its empty pages, full of promise. I fill it in carefully for at least three months and, again, enjoy the feeling that life is under control and I’m on top of it all. Then, gradually, it all goes to pot.
As always, here I am in June with every page in the diary scrawled on, scribbled out, and re-scrawled with the paraphernalia of family life, work and ‘everything else’.
As the demands on my time gather pace that (possibly smug) under-control feeling is sneakily replaced with mild but persistent panic as I fire-fight my way through each week. I know envy is wrong but some people just seem so in control!
I write lists to ensure nothing is overlooked and to try to regain that calm, beginning of the year, feeling. The more demands, the more I fear something will go amiss, the more lists I write. I’m currently on at least five a day. That can’t be good for me.
Every now and then I get stroppy and rethink my time management, making a list (another list!) of essential and non-essential jobs in order of priority. I get brutal and look for things I could drop altogether. But there isn’t much that could be pruned really. I’m basically trying to stuff a size 14 life into a size 10 day (ladies’ sizes) and there are some unsightly bulges.
I expect my protests ring true for many people reading this. The paradox is that just when we need to be sitting down, praying (and listening) to God most, the response from many of us is that we haven’t got time. We know that we should put our life in God’s hands and yet stubbornly we try to battle on by ourselves.
This issue we hear on the centre pages of seasonal chaplains offering ministry to tourists, and how being on holiday can give people a fresh outlook on their life and more time to reflect on their spiritual well-being. It sounds like a breath of fresh air, but I can’t wait that long.
There’s a wonderfully apt quote attributed to (debatably) John Wesley or Martin Luther: ‘I have so much to do that I must spend many hours in prayer before I am able to do it’.
So, instead of making another list in this busy, busy week I’m going to actually add one more thing to my day and put aside time to pray.
I feel better already!
Yes it seems rest needs to be a discipline.
We have recently been looking at Tony Horsfall's book Song of the Shepherd - a meditation on Psalm 23 and one of the points he makes is that the first day God provided for humansin the story of creation was a day of rest. This made a profound impact on the group of mothers of young children gathered. When your starting point is God-ordained rest, life suddenly looks very different.
The leader of the group suggested we took time to read the psalm several times a day during the week as a prayerful reminder. Discipline as rest, with prayer second and work third.
Thanks for another reminderof how to put life in order.
We live in the country and have the pleasure of beauty and tranquility.
I take our two collies for a quick walk every morning whether it be rain or shine. I say my prayers and tell God of my thoughts for the day, He only can be my Diaryist and I give thanks to him and ask for His Guidance. I feel good after this and tackle each day with confidence thereafter what ever fate may bring.
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